"Writing is not necessarily something to be ashamed of. but do it in private
and wash your hands afterwards." --Robert Heinlein.

We've moved!

For the next two years (Summer 2014-Summer 2016) I'll be blogging our family's adventures in China at www.chinesemileposts.wordpress.com

Tuesday, March 08, 2011

Imperfection

I've been slacking on blogging lately.  30% because I'm busy.  30% because I have nothing to say.  10% because time moves too quickly and I don't realize that I haven't posted anything in almost a week.  And 30% because I'm a bit annoyed with blogs right now.

I love browsing other people's blogs.  Getting a peak into their lives and their homes.  But there are times when it makes me feel like I've just given birth and am now forced to sit through the Victoria Secret fashion show.  I feel inferior.  Of course not everyone only shows themselves and their families at their best.  I hope what I convey on my blog is a mostly truthful representation of who we are, but without showing you all the down and dirty or the we're so perfect aspects of our lives.  I hope that's what I'm accomplishing.  But I browse all these blogs and see their perfect houses, with their perfect matching furniture and uber-decorated cutesy stuff.  And they are all crafty and all bake well.  They all have perfect husbands and perfect children all spaced 2 years apart.  They go running.  Attend blog conferences.  All somehow know one another.  I'm obviously exaggerating with my "all." It's a rant, I'm allowed to.  And Cristin commented and reminded me that they are all like professional photographers, with cameras I can only dream about owning and Photoshop. Now I don't hate these people.  Or their blogs.  I still visit them daily and drool over their perfection.  But that doesn't really seem healthy, does it?

Sometimes I just want to see the real person.  I realize that one of the nice aspects of a blog is the anonymity.  And the be whoever you want to portray yourself to be.  But I also want to see real  people.  I want to see messy bedrooms or offices.  The unfinished basement.  Show me your messy desk.  Your clunker car.  Let me know that sometimes you are still in your pajamas at noon (I know I am).  The fact that you dyed your 8 year old's hair red (6-12 washes) for Halloween and it still hasn't washed out 5 months later.  Something that makes you more real to me.

And I acknowledge that there are real people out there in the blogosphere, telling their real stories, showing us their broken hearts.  I don't want to ignore them.  I guess it's just the real me who focuses on all the perfection and not on the realness.  I need to just feel happy for them that their lives are perfect.  As the saying goes, the grass is always greener on the other side of the fence.  And lately, I'm sick of looking at all that green grass.  Not that my grass isn't green.  But sometime it feels like NO ONE's grass is that green.  

So no one accuses me of only showing you my perfectness (Ha!), here is photographic evidence of my imperfections.
Top picture: I never ever let my kids play in the kid play area at the mall.  They are rarely allowed to play at the McD's play area, etc.  Not because I'm a germaphobe.  Just because they really annoy me and I don't have the patience for them.  This picture is from a couple months ago and is probably the first time Little Guy has ever played at the mall.  And only maybe the 3rd time for my big kids.  And it was Jed's idea.
Bottom left: My sons' room looks like this probably three times a day (if I bother helping clean up in the middle of those three messy times.  Otherwise, it just stays this way for days at a time.)  
Bottom right: Princess Sparkley's room.  This is a little worse than normal (the giant Rubbermaid container is usually under her bed).  She'll claim that her room isn't this bad normally.  She's been better lately, but this isn't unseen.

I also ignore my kids for long periods of time while I read books, blog, or hide from them (not really, I don't usually hide from them).  For instance, right now, PS is waiting to use the computer.  I told her it would be a minute, I needed to write a quick blog post.  It's now been about 40 minutes.  Bad mom.

12 comments:

Cristin said...

Amen. You also forgot to mention that all these mom's are like professional photographers too with super duper photoshopping skills. Ugh. I've decided that I only blog now when I really want to. It's not like I'm getting paid for this, you know!?

Andrea said...

Maybe we should have a blog truth week. Like, show what your house looks like NOW or what your daily schedule really is. That would be fun and maybe give me motivation to blog--because I can only look at and take so many pictures of cupcakes.

Erin said...

I get too depressed when I read those kind of blogs. My kids' rooms always look like that. They think I am so horrible when I make them clean it up once in a while to run the vacuum.

delilas said...

I have had those exact feeling. I like Andrea's idea of having a blog truth week "GET REAL WEEK".

Mary Gray said...

Well it just goes to show me--I thought you were the perfect one! All those goals! The home schooling. All the reading. But I guess I find where others are excelling and where I certainly am NOT. :) I wrote a rather vulnerable post about a week ago... it was hard to show to the world, but for some reason I had to get it out.

My guilty pleasure lately has been Desperate Housewives (it's on Netflix On Demand) and I love Bree Van de Kamp. She is the epitome of what housewives feel they need to be perfect. And she shows the absurdity of it all. There's this scene where she changes her dead husband's tie at his funeral in front of everyone all because she can't stand that shade of orange--it ruins his perfection.

Angela said...

This is a blessed post. I feel like this all the time. I had to stop reading a friend's blog because it was making me hate my own life. Her and her husband were always jetting off to cancun, Italy, Aspen etc. in their new car/clothes/perfect body etc. It was maddening! One of the things I love about Jed's blog, and I have said this aloud to Adam before, is that he writes about real things like your less-than-perfect family vacations. It is so refreshing! I'll make sure to post one of the millions of pictures I have featuring my double chin. That ought to provide you a small ego boost!

cms87 said...

Well I think you are amazing. I guess I am a little egotistical because I just assume that everyone's life is just as chaotic and messy as mine. :o) I am glad to have my assumption confirmed. I think it is hard to put the truth out there for everyone to see and I am drawn to the blogs that are "real." As far as the others are concerned, I just assume they are as insecure about showing the “real” them as I am about showing you my basement right now. :o)

The Man Your Husband Is Worried About said...

I like how Angela said "one of the things." Because my blog has SO MUCH to offer that she's picking something from a long, long list. Good job, Angela. You've always been my favorite of my wife's friends.

Jill said...

I liked this one. No Mormon lady would be jealous of me from reading my blog.

Sea Star said...

I have so many of those same feelings. I often feel like I have to take a blog reading break. Everyone else seems to be doing so many great things and our lives are so normal and boring or sometimes it just feels to messy! I enjoy the blogs that do keep things real and point out the hard days. We certainly do all have blemishes... we just don't all like to show them off.

wendys said...

Ditto.

Miss L said...

Late to the party, but just wanted to say, "YES!" to this post. Thanks for the honesty.

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