"Writing is not necessarily something to be ashamed of. but do it in private
and wash your hands afterwards." --Robert Heinlein.

We've moved!

For the next two years (Summer 2014-Summer 2016) I'll be blogging our family's adventures in China at www.chinesemileposts.wordpress.com

Tuesday, October 20, 2009

Entertainment that makes you cry

I cry at sad movies. I bawl when I read sad books. Jed thinks I am crazy.

One of my favorite bonding memories is from my freshman year at BYU. Angela and I were brand new roommates, strangers really, and we were watching Steel Magnolias. We were both sobbing, and we looked at each other, complete strangers, and started cracking up. Then our laughs and sobs joined together to become snorts. We've been best friends ever since.

In all the research I've done on what makes me cry in movies and books, there are two things that stick out. Unrequited love. And death.

Jed and I have had a long, roller coaster relationship spanning two and a half decades. There weren't really any ups and downs at the beginning when we were just kids, but once puberty hit, there were a lot of hills. There was a point where I knew he was the one for me, that were were going to be married. Then everything fell apart (he'll let you all know this was my fault, and it was). But even during those apart years, I never stopped loving him. I don't think I really knew it at the time, I just knew how much I missed him. This is the root of my crying at unrequited love stories... I think. I'm not a psychologist or anything. But if I were to lie on a doctor's couch and be hypnotized to find out the reason for my tears, I'm pretty sure this is it.

And death. I'm not really alone on this. I think anyone who cries at a book or movie, cries when someone dies. I just can't handle it. I just finished The Time Traveler's Wife* and sobbed through the whole second half. Sobbed. Jed just kept looking at me as tears dripped onto the book and mascara smeared down my face. I can't handle the idea of dying and not being with Jed anymore. Or him dying and leaving me alone. I don't think I'd be able to go on. Or our kids being raised with only one parent. I can't handle even the thought of this. Jed of course has a much more practical view on all of this. If I die, I die. If he dies, he dies. If one of our kids dies... you get the point. We were married for eternity. When one of us dies, we're still a family forever. Of course I believe this, but I would still sob uncontrollably for days, weeks, months, years... forever. So when I'm reading a book, or watching a movie and someone dies, my heart is broken for them.

What's interesting is that I still read all the unrequited love stories, and watch the movies where a loved one dies. They are still good stories. But why is it entertaining to be sad and cry... I haven't figured that out yet.

Do you cry when you read books and watch movies??

*Good book, but if you are sensitive to language or sex, there is a LOT in this book.


wendys said...

I cry too! But I try not too because I hate showing everyone how wussy I am.

Myk said...

I didn't know you and husbie went that far back- I love those kind of love stories.

The Man Your Husband Is Worried About said...

You even hate the idea of us dying at the same time, because then our kids would be orphans, and of us AND our kids all dying together, in like a plane crash or something, because it would be so tragic. So the only solution you'll accept is all of us living forever, which means you'll be pretty disappointed when you discover how the real world works.

Nathan said...

I cry at emotional parts of movies, too. Sometimes I embrace it; other times I feel manipulated - especially if it is a church film.

I've really enjoyed your most recent posts, Persephone; they're authentic and well-written. Perhaps I amespecially sensitive now because my wife and I are apart. I'm back on the campus where we met and fell in love. I'd better stop typing before my eyes get too moist! Thanks.

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