"Writing is not necessarily something to be ashamed of. but do it in private
and wash your hands afterwards." --Robert Heinlein.

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For the next two years (Summer 2014-Summer 2016) I'll be blogging our family's adventures in China at www.chinesemileposts.wordpress.com

Friday, February 24, 2006

Breaking Up

My husband would probably argue me on this point, but it seems like I’ve never been in a relationship with a normal break-up. Time just sort of progresses and the relationship is over without a real, to use a BYU term, DTR: Define the Relationship. It needs no definition, it no longer is.
With my husband, we were young, we dated, we broke up, we remained friends. We just didn’t hold hands any longer. And then we stopped speaking to each other, but this was way post break-up. We’d gone from friends to boyfriend/girlfriend to friends, and then just stopped speaking to each other one day... for over a year. Odd. But we were 14 and 15... that’s probably how relationships at that age should be.
Then I dated my husband again, for much longer, and we broke up, but it’s a very long story, and still, not your typical break-up. And when we dated again, we ended up married. So there are no break-ups in our future.
But while all of this was going on, I also dated a guy who, well, we just sort of liked being together. We never had to talk about the relationship and where it was going because I don’t think either of us really wanted more than we had at the time. We were at college, the semester was ending, we were both going home for the summer. Without really speaking it, we both knew that with the summer came the end of our relationship. I still remember him saying he was going to miss feeling how soft my hair was. Odd.
Then I’ve had other relationships where things just sort of ended before they ever begun. Just one of those, hey, can this friendship be taken to the next level. We’re waiting, were waiting. No.
I just sort of feel like I missed out on all the break-up drama that I read about in books. There was no yelling, no name calling, no throwing things. (Okay, well, I do like to throw things, but there were never any boys present.) There were tears of course, and friends’ shoulders to cry on. Maybe it’s my extreme avoidance of confrontation. I guess it’s probably for the best. Maybe I just don’t have the dramatic flare that good break-ups need.

1 comment:

Angela said...

As a chronic dramatic breaker-upper, I must say that I would MUCH rather be you...

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